So I joined this new website called squawkbox.com, it's about budgeting, saving and getting a handle on your financial future. Most arguments in relationships are about money, my relationship is not an exception to this rule, often there are arguments over how to spend, when to spend and how much to spend all things addressed at squawkbox, I also went to feedthepig.com and after using one of their online tools, the numbers were staggering. My coffee habit alone was costing us over $1,500 a year. Starbucks although delicious is not going to help us buy a house.
But the real kicker was my makeup habit, I thought I was doing an excellent job buying things only on sale at Ulta and leveraged magazine offers for free samples and gifts. Turns outs all my beauty swag was costing over $1680 a year! So that's over $3,180 a year in random silly expenses. This is the exact amount we need for a down payment on a house where we live. The overwhelming guilt I felt as I looked at my literally full drawers of make up almost made me heave at my extravagance compared to my mates frugality.
Big will not spend a penny on eating out, he'd rather take his lunch with him to work and pocket the cash. He doesn't have any expensive hobbies, and he never asks for anything. He will deny himself things to the point of absurdity, right now his tennis shoes have holes in them and his socks are soaking wet because we live in the Portland area. But he insists that we wait until next pay day to purchase new ones.
Our spending styles differ so greatly that I've have to remind myself to think the way a saver would. Growing up even though I worked my whole young adult life, saving for the future was always incredibly difficult for me, because there was always something new to experience, something new to be had like a book or the latest style which in my head I believed I'd earned after working so hard.
To me money equaled freedom, freedom from my parents reach, freedom from boredom, freedom to travel. So when someone tells me I must not spend money on my flavor of the week, I have a strong emotional reaction as if someone were trying to censor me, and if they are that must mean they do not approve of me as a person. It's almost like being rejected, for someone to say " no we should do this" with our money. After exploring those feelings I've come up with a plan.
No new make up until it all runs out. As in no little casual trips to the makeup counter, no holiday splurge on a pallette of sparkle that I already own three times over. I'm going to use every tube, stick, primer etc until it's all gone, then and only then will I allow myself to buy new make up or accessories. I've also decided to make my coffee at home and take it to work.
These things will be a little hard to get used to at first but after a while I'll hardly notice them. Because the pay off, the picture of the little cottage house with the picket fence is worth all the coffee and make up in the world.
-A more grown up