There's a full moon out and the fancy has struck me to right a post. Ok so that's not entirely true, for over a couple weeks now I haven't written because well I haven't had anything in me to write that wasn't nihilistic, whiny or boring. Today for the first time I sat down at my laptop and realized that I don't write to be entertaining, though it is always one of the goals. The reason I write is to connect with others, to let people know that in this vast sometimes cold and unnerving universe there are people out there who genuinely give a damn.
I've felt pretty alone these past couple weeks like the world was on my shoulders and there were times when I was sure I was just going to pack it in and give up. Somehow though, every time it got really bad someone would smile at me or someone would give an unsolicited compliment and for some reason that seemed to be enough.
It was like someone lit a tiny fire inside me and soon it rolled itself something bigger, I think I was searching for something, something I thought I lost. Everything has seemed to calm down and settle into place now, but I know that turmoil is constant only death brings peace and well I'm not ready to go on the cart just yet.