Cold feet without the bling?

I haven't written in a long time, I think it because I've been afraid of what I've been thinking lately. Big and I have been strained lately in all the ways you can be all at once and with all my heart I'm in love. There's a small part of my brain though that says " you've been in love before and look how that turned out".

We aren't engaged and have no plans thus far, though all of our friends assume we do and I suppose it's a distance thought in both our minds but not anything pressing, so I'm wondering why do I have cold feet when I don't even have the ring yet?

Life is a series of uncertainties and the person you choose to navigate them with is important which is why I'm wondering if fundamental differences in values can be compromised or overcome, can you bring the butterflies back when the bills are piling up? How do you warm cold feet when your first instinct is to run away from pain or uncertainty? I love Big and I always will so I guess i'll have to invest in some leg warmers.
-CGITW