Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Wandering in the cold lane

There's a full moon out and the fancy has struck me to right a post. Ok so that's not entirely true, for over a couple weeks now I haven't written  because well I haven't had anything in me to write that wasn't nihilistic, whiny or boring. Today for the first time I sat down at my laptop and realized that I don't write to be entertaining, though it is always one of the goals. The reason I write is to connect with others, to let people know that in this vast sometimes cold and unnerving universe there are people out there who genuinely give a damn.

I've felt pretty alone these past couple weeks like the world was on my shoulders and there were times when I was sure I was just going to pack it in and give up. Somehow though, every time it got really bad someone would smile at me or someone would give an unsolicited compliment and for some reason that seemed to be enough.

It was like someone lit a tiny fire inside me and soon it rolled itself something bigger, I think I was searching for something, something I thought I lost. Everything has seemed to calm down and settle into place now, but I know that turmoil is constant only death brings peace and well I'm not ready to go on the cart just yet.

-CGINTW

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

My Escapade with Fashion Tape

So today like so many other women I woke up and had absolutely nothing to wear in a closet (ok a floor full of clothes). The only career acceptable pants hanging and not wrinkled to geriatric perfection were about 6 inches too long for me. Why would I buy pants so ill fitting on a 5' frame? Easy they were on clearance for .82 cents and anyone knows that Lane Bryant pants can easily run into the $80 a pair range now. So I bought them thinking the $6 hemming job would be well worth it. Problem is I never actually took them to the tailor, I hung them up in my closet and thought about taking them even went so far as to get a coupon for 20% tailoring but alas I did not.

So this morning being an inventive and awesome person I tried to use the fashion tape I had lying around from my travel kit. For anyone whose every worked with this kind of tape, you know there's a learning curve, so half a roll later with many tiny angrily balled up pieces my pants sorta fit as long as I was careful enough not to let my shoe catch the cuff and pull on the pant leg. If this were the end of the story I would count it as a success however....at lunch the saga continued.

After burning my microwavable made to taste like lasagna in a lab lunch, I decided to try to purchase food stuffs that did not come from a mad scientist. I noticed a sushi joint and as I got out of the car I stepped all over my pant cuffs and the tape came half way off and now I'm forced to walk into an trendy Portland sushi joint looking like I'm trying to revive the Scarface look, it's 98 degrees outside my car's AC and the tape is drooping, soon I'm going to have pull off looking like one of the seven dwarfs. Luckily they held up through lunch and a few staples fixed it until I got home, needless to say I'm going to the tailors this weekend...maybe.

-CGINTW

Monday, August 13, 2012

Cold feet without the bling?

I haven't written in a long time, I think it because I've been afraid of what I've been thinking lately. Big and I have been strained lately in all the ways you can be all at once and with all my heart I'm in love. There's a small part of my brain though that says " you've been in love before and look how that turned out".

We aren't engaged and have no plans thus far, though all of our friends assume we do and I suppose it's a distance thought in both our minds but not anything pressing, so I'm wondering why do I have cold feet when I don't even have the ring yet?

Life is a series of uncertainties and the person you choose to navigate them with is important which is why I'm wondering if fundamental differences in values can be compromised or overcome, can you bring the butterflies back when the bills are piling up? How do you warm cold feet when your first instinct is to run away from pain or uncertainty? I love Big and I always will so I guess i'll have to invest in some leg warmers.
-CGITW

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Thought of the day

For a long time I thought my life was destined to be difficult, then I got over my narcissism and figured out life in general is hard for the majority of us. Things are not given in this world they must be seized; fortune, opportunity and even luck are byproducts of
tenacity and determination.

To everyone who has a dream and is willing to work their asses off to get it:
We run this.

-CGINTW