Big and I have moved to Wilsonville, Oregon a city in Northern Oregon about 20 minutes outside of Portland, we moved here because he got an awesome opportunity in his career if he relocated. My day job had already reached it's maximum potential and we had been talking about me taking some time off for writing and starting our business venture together so everything came together at just the right moment in time.
Putting on my Betsy Johnson inspired discount T-shirt and best travelling pants;I packed up all my coture, all my casual and all my killer heels of course and we drove and then drove and then drove some more. Stopping in Canyonville, OR for a Buffalo burger we finally got a break from driving, I noticed as soon as we got over the state line how much I stood out. I'm Mexican, Italian and Japanese, so there's no hiding my non caucasianess. Growing up in California I kind of always just melted into all the other melting rainbows, here I'm like a bright beacon of ethnicness, which is kind of awesome, it's nice to be special I guess.
But sticking out in a crowd has never been an issue for me, I'm 5 feet and over 200 pounds, people notice me for good or bad. The real issue I'm having right now is trying to find my groove, Big goes to work every morning and all our roomates work with him so the apartment is empty from 7 in the morning until about 7 a night and I am left with my thoughts...so I'm going crazy. I've worked my whole adult life, I've never not had a job for more than a month or two, now I work for myself.
But who I am without a paycheck? I feel like I'm a Marc Jacobs dress in a closet full of Miu Miu, it's nice but not quite the same. I offered to do the cooking just so I could feel useful and because it just made sense since I'm home. This fish out of water feeling is new to me, I don't know how long it will last but I'm pretty sure a Martha Stewart catalog is not in my future.
What about you lovlies, have you ever felt like you didn't belong? Why? What did you do to help yourself feel better? Tell me in the comments below or send your thoughts to firstname.lastname@example.org
Until next time,