|Me three weeks ago (same shirt)|
|Me four months ago|
Are we so judgmental towards others because we are projecting our own expectations onto them? Are we using them as the whipping girls to our own faltering egos? I can't say that I'm innocent of this, I've compared myself to other women in a room before, trying to come up with reasons why I was better or just as good but those things come from fear. Is our bitchiness towards one another just out of fear of imagined sleights or unreal preconceived notions?
So I don't have any excuse for being overweight, I don't have a gland problem or thyroid or any other such issue, the only reason I have for being fat is that I have had a not so short love affair with pizza and root beer for many many years. It is a dysfunctional if not abusive one and has been for years, however there are many people who do have legitimate issues or medical problems maintaining their weight.
I'm not saying that people who are overweight for any reason deserve bad treatment in any way, what I am saying is that I just have no legitimate reason for remaining overweight when I do not wish to be, it's why I work out 3 days a week and try (mostly successfully) to watch what I eat. But if you were to look at me you would never guess that I had a gym membership, like most people no matter what their weight, I'm a work in progress.
I have been on the wrong end of those looks, people saying mean, catty and down right cruel things. I've even had someone walk into my office and give me the advice of having my jaw wired shut. I have also been the person "thin bashing" with my heavier girlfriends mostly because all of us wanted terribly to be thin, something almost none of us would admit. It isn't that I think thin people are better or some how inherently more attractive, I've never had issues getting a date or dance partner, but somehow being a larger size is like being "the other".
I've never known what it was like to walk into a room and not be the biggest person in it, to not stick out like a sore thumb in a crowd. My size has shaped who I am because well I was already being stared at, might as well use it to my advantage! I became friendly, open, gracious and a damn spiffy dresser. I had to learn how to do my makeup just right because I knew everyone was going to be looking at me, and I have always felt that I had to win someone over because of my size. It is hard to have sympathy and remember that everyone has self esteem issues when you're constantly reminded of how "other" you are because you're plus size.
Judgement serves many good purposes, it allows us to make decisions based on information. It's when we make those decisions based on imagined or falsely perceived information that we can no longer trust our judgement. We must remember that we are already "the other", in the day in age of people trying to overturn Roe v. Wade, limit access to birth control and repeal domestic violence laws across the country, it's time we set our sites on more important things. There are much more important issues that deserve our ire, let's get off the merry go round of women hating and work together to do what we do best, be leaders, teachers, lawyers, scientists,women who get things done. Stop the hate and celebrate each other and our accomplishments and goals.