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Dirty Little Secret

Immersed in the world of online dating, like so many other young people who work full time and have other hobbies and pursuits I don't have time to wait around a coffee shop for a handsome officer and a gentleman. I need to know the facts, Dano just the facts and we can take it from there. There are plenty of good and legitmate sites out there for the working gal like myself. I'm a member of Plentyoffish and Okcupid, both free and decently laid out.

Online dating has become so popular because in theory, you get to know a little about someone through their profile, you can see if you have the same hobbies, taste in music, or even a mutual complete disregard for spelling. I did something last night I've never done and swore to myself I would never do.

I had a casual fling with someone I had just met, we'll call him Half Baked, as it seems to be his perpetual state. Though we were responsible I can't help feeling a little guilty. I really had no intention of doing so with this person but something just clicked and my responses seemed on auto pilot. He was gentle with his touch and very enthusiastic which always makes for a fun time, I was completely out of my element and was probably more up tight than necessary, but this was completely new territory for me. I have a very strong suspicion he's a practiced veteran, every move seemed with motive and carefully planned, but none of it was disrespectful so we'll let it slide. There's a difference between being played for a sucker and letting mutually beneficial things happen.

I thought I would feel worse, I had always believed that love and sex should go hand in hand and that to do otherwise was a recipe for catastrophe. I thought that I would somehow feel used after this but the truth is though I feel a bit embarassed at the ease in which this happened I can't say that I'm damaged in any way. I think there comes a point in every womans life where she just needs to know she's desirable, it doesn't always have to be a long drawn out love affair. 

Though I love the feeling of being in love, of having someone to cuddle up next to and know that person feels something deep and lasting for me I realized last night that you can still have a fun time with someone without being in love with them, don't get me wrong if he was on fire I would throw him an Evian but for the first time in my life I have only a first name to remember and it was clean break with both parties leaving satisfied. I don't intend to make this a habit but it's like ice cream, every once in a while I girl needs a sundae without dinner first. Here's to Half Baked special brownie sundaes.

-The Chubby Girl In the World (listening to Yhe Donna's)

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