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Showing posts from April, 2010

THE Question-How soon is too soon?

I recently went out with a guy who was an amazing kisser, when I mentioned this fact to my mother she said "you kissed him on the first date? Gross." Those were her exact words. Imagine how slutty I felt, but being the smart ass I am I said "Mom this is the twenty first century, most people skip the kissing nowadays." She snorted and looked down her nose at me which immediately made me feel like a teenager again who had done something I wasn't supposed to, but after thinking about it, screw that! 

In the words of the immortal and genius Donnas "I get what I want and I like what I see, take it off baby for me." Can we really sum up our generation any better? Let's be honest we've all at least wanted to go home with someone based on their looks alone and until recently I had never acted on this impulse, I thought that suffering through three mediocre dates justified my carnal lust on the fourth. But I believe this to have been a complete waste of…

He's just not that into me, the beauty of love, and my "Mr. Big"

I'm an independent woman, I'm a mama who rocks all her own dolla's but I firmly believe when a dude calls you up to hang out with him, it should be to actually go do something, other than make out and feel you up. I've been getting these phone calls around 8-9 on weekends asking me to meet up with someone, not to "go out" but to inevitably end up in the back seat of a car steaming up the windows. Now... take this with a grain of salt, I have no problem with this arrangement if it's understood that this is a "short term needs" kinda situation. Whereas this man is an amazing kisser, not so amazing in the emotional department a hazard area for Scorpio men I think. Don't tell me I'm the only one you're talking to or even making out with when I know damn well that isn't the truth, and you know damn well you're not the only one. My point is, if you're diggin' my mad skills at manipulating your hormones and you're just i…

The Queen Bee and the Bird man (Golly gee wilikers Bird man!)

Have you ever had friends so awesome they come to your rescue and invite you out for frosties too? I do and here's why my Queen Bee and Bird man are the most amazing people you could ever find. Queenie is someone who takes charges of any situation, you know that when she walks in you better listen up, but this isn't based on hubris or arrogance, she just knows what she's doing and isn't afraid to be who she is (Freaking Awesome!) she's someone who is a fierce friend and even though we lost touch for a long time (my fault) when we found each other again it's like we'd never missed a day, she's always been there through thick and thin and she's someone who has taught me the true meaning of friendship, being someone who will come through when it matters most, she's tried her damndest to make me a neater, more fashionable person as well unfortunately those lessons are being much more slowly absorbed but I have a feeling she's not giving up any t…

Women Empowering Themselves thru fashion, fun and frivolity.

Did you ever secretly wonder why that girl who is a little more homely, chubby, shorter (etc.) was able to get a date and you're dance card hasn't been punched in many moons? Admit it we all go through the "I'm so much prettier than her." conversations with ourselves, we start the horrible spiral into unattractive bitchiness by comparing ourselves to people with mates, which only creates a vortex of self-loathing which leads to a bucket full of lonely because let's face it, a bitchy narcissistic sounding woman does not dating material make. It's time to stop the madness! The girl who is supposedly not up to par in your eyes at that moment of weakness just happened to find someone compatible and the trick she used? She was just living her life, so don't hate on her. So the question becomes how to break this cycle. The answer believe it or not I have found is simple!

Go out and have fun, the kind of fun you used to have when you were part of a couple an…

The Winning Bet- The demise of Hedge Fund

So remember Hedge Fund? (see post labeled "Crisis General")the guy who I couldn't make up my mind about whether or not he was hurt and sensitive or just pure jerkwad, well Johnny tell her what she's won! (fake announcer voice) a friend and I were discussing the whole situation and he said a good way to tell a lot about a guy is to ask him what his favorite position is. "His answer will reveal what he thinks about you, not necesarrily the truth, but it will tell you how he feels about you, if he gives a sweet sensitive answer he's bull shitting you, if he gives you a halfway dirty, halfway sweet answer he's flirting and if he just doesn't answer or laughs it off he's into you and doesn't want to scare you away." So this is advice from a male friend I take no responsibility for its authenticity or relevancy lol. So I asked Hedge Fund what his favorite position and this was his reply via text, verbatim, I have changed nothing.
"I like f…

The Big "C" question

Don't worry lovlies I don't have cancer. What I mean by the Big "C" is the question of children. How do you decide whether or not to get involved with someone who has them? I've been of a very strong firm stance for many years, the answer is no. 

The reason being is that I'm in my mid-twenties and I believed it to be a sign of irresponsibility and gross negligence;I have to say most of the guys my age who have children aren't exactly nominees for Father of the year. This being said I've learned some new found lessons while I'm forced into public transportation(waiting to buy a new car, long story) I see this guy on the bus every morning on my way to work. I tote my designer bag and overpriced shoes and jumbo sized gourmet coffee with me everywhere, these are completely selfish and pretty much useless vices when you come to think of it. This guy proudly carries around his daughters Dora the Explorer stroller, lunch box and backpack. He takes her to …

Amazingly Good Coffee break

So I'm a big fan of being proactive, going out and getting what you want and taking no prisoners. I've recently applied this attitude to my dating life, with online dating there is no reason not to have a date (ok so you take your chances on quality and possible kidnapping but hey, that's the risk you take) on Saturday night. Besides it's been a very quick and easy way to weed people out, it has not been an uncommon thing for me to have seen someone's profile on a site and then bump into them at a  club or in public somewhere, sometimes it comes in handy because I already know we're not compatible from their either their lack of wordsmithing abilities or their complete disregard for punctuation.

However, today fate as it were (pick your deity here) intervened. I was walking out of the B&N where I grabbed my turbo lunch and I accidently bumped into a tall, dark, handsome stranger. Unfortunately some of my raspberry white mocha did end up on his pants but he…

Shattering the "Big Girl" myth

Now I know that most men are decent, law abiding, courteous human beings, unfortunately there are a few good douche bags out there making you all look bad. These are the kind of men who go to clubs, bars, dating sites specifically looking for chubby girls not because they love and adore and cherish the culture to which I belong, but because they truly believe in their heart of hearts that chubby girls will do anything and everything because they are attention deprived.

Now this is not completely their fault, it is simply a misunderstanding and miseducation. A chubby girl is no more likely to sleep with you than the skinny girl down at the bar, as a matter of fact come to think of it the chubby girl is less likely to. You see as a Chubby girl the world around me has assaulted my self esteem from adolescence to the present day so I had to develop coping mechanisms, develop a personality and other good traits with which to feel good about, I became for all intents and purposes a well adju…

The Crisis General-When the problem may be him

April 11, 2010
File Name: Hedge Fund 
Operation:Crisis Negotiation

Do you ever get the feeling from some people that they create drama and crisis where there is none in order to gain sympathy or cover up their blatant faults as human beings? I've been texting back and forth with the one person who seems to always be in a constant state of turmoil. Now it is unclear to me whether this is because he is understandably having a difficult time as so many of us do from time to time or if it because it is an all too convenient cover for the fact that he is hedging his bets.

I would like to be understanding, accepting and trusting of these crisis situations which this person may be going through. I would also like a straight up honest answer to the questions I have, without being made to feel guilty or like the bad guy when I expect a phone call instead of a text, which is the universal way to say yes I would talk to you, if only I cared enough.

So the question becomes, do I wait around to …

Dirty Little Secret

Immersed in the world of online dating, like so many other young people who work full time and have other hobbies and pursuits I don't have time to wait around a coffee shop for a handsome officer and a gentleman. I need to know the facts, Dano just the facts and we can take it from there. There are plenty of good and legitmate sites out there for the working gal like myself. I'm a member of Plentyoffish and Okcupid, both free and decently laid out.

Online dating has become so popular because in theory, you get to know a little about someone through their profile, you can see if you have the same hobbies, taste in music, or even a mutual complete disregard for spelling. I did something last night I've never done and swore to myself I would never do.

I had a casual fling with someone I had just met, we'll call him Half Baked, as it seems to be his perpetual state. Though we were responsible I can't help feeling a little guilty. I really had no intention of doing so …